Quarantine Panda

Hello all! Forgive me for my silence...has anyone else felt a bit like you've fallen off the planet during the past few months?  Where are we? What dimension is this?!

Allow me to paint a picture of our family over the past few months...It all started at the end of our Spring Break when I thought it would be wise to put a call into our pediatrician and pulminologist to ask about this new virus everyone was talking about. I had heard it didn't affect children, so I wasn't worried. But our family's health history has taught me to be extra vigilant and double-check, and so I made the calls. You can pretty much guess what followed.

I was basically told that yes, we did need to be extra careful and stay away from public places. Then right before I hung up, I thought to ask about school the next week. What do we do about that? The doctor's recommendation: keep Ladybug home; It is too dangerous for her for multiple reasons. This wasn't ground-breaking as we have had to take similar action during certain flu seasons, but it obviously wasn't the response I was hoping for. I sighed, hung up, and went to deliver the news to The Duke. Another quarantine for our family.

But as we all know, that quarantine quickly changed from specific to at-risk families like us to basically everybody. And so we went on lock-down, even more strictly than we usually did. Groceries were delivered and disinfected, The Duke was working from home, and all therapies and doctor appointments were rescheduled.

Thankfully quarantining with Ladybug and Panda isn’t so bad. They are an absolute blast! Actually, daily life is a lot more fun around here when therapies, doctor appointments and the like are all cancelled. It's turned out to be a very welcome reprieve. We've enjoyed finding our own rhythms, even with the bumps and challenges along the way. I have found myself enjoying/more exhausted during this time than I would have thought. It's a strange juxtaposition. I am simultaneously antsy and at peace, exhausted and energized, lonely and full of love.

As the quarantine months all blur together in my mind as one giant "groundhog day", here is just a quick list of what we've been up to: (I know some of you were needing a good Bill Murray reference today.)

1. Learning and Conquering

Ladybug finished her Kinder year strong! It wasn't an easy year, and we couldn't be more proud of her. I absolutely love watching her rock life despite all odds. She walked away from kindergarten with a handle on persistence, hard work, and a beautiful mix of self-confidence and humility. I love watching these awesome kids rise to the challenges facing them with resilience and strength! We threw her a family graduation party after her last day of school to celebrate.

-Photo cred: Panda

With full-time homeschooling as our only option, Panda has been spending his mornings in the schoolroom with us practicing his sight words and learning to write his letters. Ladybug loves playing the role of the big sister who can assist in all of Panda's academic needs when she gets a break from her own work. He's a sponge and she's full of encouraging words for him.

2. Playing Outside

Walks, bike rides, and the beach have been our saving grace! I'm embarrassed to say I haven't appreciated our access to the outdoors as much as I should have in the past. But this experience has definitely changed that! We spend at least an hour each day outside, usually more. Although as May nears its close, the weather is getting warmer and less accessible for Ladybug and her heat intolerance (cue seizures). I shutter to think of a summer that involves no air-conditioned rock gym or swim lessons to get some good exercise in for her (and us). We are in brainstorming mode at the moment...

3. Easter Story Triggers Trauma

With Easter weekend we got the opportunity to remember the sacrifice Christ made in replacement of us to pay our price for our sins. While this is something we discuss frequently, the holiday weekend brought on a whole new interest from both kids on the subject. This time Panda listened more intently than before and was absolutely mortified. How could God punish His Son for something He didn't do?? What kind of God was this? He died!? Notice Panda not smiling in the picture above.

Honestly, Panda's reaction to this concept was much more appropriate than mine usually is. It really is a horrifying story, but I sometimes catch myself viewing it from a picture-book standpoint instead of the reality of the situation. It's a story that involves betrayal, torture, and death, albeit one with a unexpected miraculous ending. If it were a movie, I would not be able to watch the first half of it without being sick.

Panda has seen too much in his little life to take this story lightly. Based on what he has been able to communicate to us over the past couple of years, he understands the concept of watching someone be beat and even the concept of death. He knows what that is. So the Easter story cannot be accepted with the simple childlike innocence most children are able to apply to it. A God who allows this is a terrifying God indeed. And, once again, he's not wrong. Our God, while embodying love and forgiveness beyond our comprehension, is also to be feared. He is holy and does not overlook sin. Hence the necessity for the price of sin to be paid. This is the part of the gospel story that I tend to shy away from due to the unpleasantness of it. But without understanding God's wrath upon all those who deserve it, it is difficult to understand the depth of His love and forgiveness when He decided to take that wrath upon Himself for us.

Whew. That got deep. But that's my point...what five-year-old catches that depth? Certainly not Ladybug, and certainly not me. I didn't begin to see the intensity of the gospel story until I was much older. Due to his rough past, Panda sees more than the surface-level story. He slept in our room for a week after Easter as he began to process the horrors of Jesus' death. He is now back in his own room, but the processing continues. He insists we read him the story in his children's Bible each morning. And he still has many questions and concerns.

**Disclaimer: We were not vivid in our description of Good Friday, but it is disturbing how well Panda was able to fill in the holes. We kept our explanations child-appropriate!

4. The Cape

Panda got some capes in his Easter basket. It's a thing now. Can't leave home without it. Sometimes, you just need to be super.

5. The Great Wasp Sting of 2020

Have you heard about the wasp that stung Panda? Because he would loooooove to tell you all about it! He tells us the story every day. And he has so many questions about who else has been stung by insects. You see, Panda has this deep sense of justice, and in his eyes, the sting was unwarranted and therefore unjust, personally offending him. (I tease, but it actually was a surprise sting. He was just sitting in his chair in the yard with Ladybug, quietly talking and looking at the clouds when accosted.) 

And now that he has learned we've all been stung at some point, he has drawn some deep conclusions about life. 

Life is unjust, but we can prevail. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

We all run into trials. 

Seriously, the kid is hilarious. It is an epic tale that involves pain and suffering, but healing and love win in the end. Plus, as an added bonus, The Duke went out and killed the wasp and brought its body back into the house to show Panda. He basically delivered its head on a platter. Sweet justice. 

So each time someone walks by our house and stops to say hello, Panda launches into his narrative of the beast that stung him. The wasp may have won the battle, but not the war. 

Praying everyone is doing well during this crazy time! I know each person is handling the pandemic differently, so hugs to you all as you make your own way through the strangeness. May God provide you with love and wisdom as you make decisions and do what is best for you and your families.