Two years ago today in the city of Xi'an, I stepped onto an elevator in a government building with my husband at my side and butterflies in my stomach, having no clue what to expect but knowing our entire lives were about to change. The elevator doors opened and already waiting for us in the hallway was the most precious little boy I had ever laid eyes on. The young Chinese nanny then handed me my son. (Here's my very unprofessional iphone video of this moment!)
Two years later on this same day we are celebrating our Panda. It is called "Gotcha Day" because it is the first day that we met, held, and got to take our Panda into our care. I used to think it should have been called "Adoption Day", but now I realize why that isn't the case. It is not our official adoption day. The day after our Gotcha Day we returned to the government building to fill out paperwork and complete the final adoption, and that time frame varies with each adoption. It was not the day he became a United States citizen either. He became a citizen the moment he stepped onto American soil for the first time with both parents present. Gotcha Day is the day our Panda, after far too long, was united with his family.
Our family celebrates Gotcha Day by having cake, a present, and retelling stories from that special time. Last year Panda received a photobook documenting his adoption time in China. It has been a favorite of his ever since, and it isn't unusual for him to go pull it off of the shelf on a Saturday morning and crawl into Daddy's lap, asking him to tell him the story again. It has even triggered curiosity for Ladybug who now asks a lot of questions about her time as a baby. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of pictures for her as we spent the first couple of years of her life in survival mode as we battled extreme seizures, etc. But we do have an album of her first birthday party, so we aren't afraid to pull that bad boy out for some good snuggle and story time too.
This year we decided to do another photobook documenting the past two years with both children, with the emphasis on our family as a whole. Panda also requested last night that we all eat cake and then he and Ladybug can snuggle while The Duke and I remind them both how much we love our kids. This was literally the plan he came up with. He even gave me a script! I was to say, "Daddy, we sure do love these two kids of ours!" and he was to answer, "Yep! Both of them!" And then (and only then) we were to join in the snuggling.
However by the end of the day today, his script fell to the wayside under the excitement of cake and opening a present. There was still snuggling as the kids went down memory lane ever so carefully, not wanting to miss a single picture. Like a couple of old women looking back through the good ol' days, each picture spurred a story and a conversation, complete with a ton of questions from Panda as he seems to not remember much from 2018.
Panda insisted we watch the YouTube video (above) a few times throughout today and talk through the photobook we gave him last year. He absolutely loves hearing his adoption story, and we love telling it to him! We did have some tougher questions to answer this year, including whose tummy he came from, and why not Mommy's? It was an opportunity to discuss how families come together in all sorts of ways. (Side note to anyone else answering similar questions: Lamb-a-roo by Diana Kimpton has been incredibly helpful with these conversations!) After further inquiry, we discussed that he came from his birthmom's tummy. I could see the wheels turning during that conversation. I have no doubt more in-depth questions are on their way.
This isn't a conversation we ever shy away from, but it hasn't come up a lot in the past couple of years. In fact, when I attempt to seize an opportunity to explain it, Panda tends to shut me down. So today was unique in that he was allowing himself to wonder and ask.
Adoption is so beautiful, but there has to be brokenness and pain for it to take place. Unfortunately the two go hand-in-hand. Today we were reminded of what Panda has lost, but we also celebrated God bringing all four of us together and the love of the past two years. Gotcha Day is our time to focus on our family's blessings and relationships, and how God's sovereign hand has weaved it all together in a complicated and perfect pattern.
We love our Panda with all of our hearts, and he was our missing puzzle piece in life. I don't know how God takes what is broken and brings restoration and healing, but I am so thankful that he does.
